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...on learning to say NO!!!

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 For a while now, I have been thinking about writing something on learning to say NO because very often I get to see people say YES to everything and anything. YES to things that get them annoyed, things they do not like. YES to going out with people that they do not enjoy being with.
YES to experiences that do not interest them and are demoralizing. I am sure you get the idea.
The urge to write this became "fully loaded" towards the end of last year, the very week of my birthday. Someone close to me got invited for a programme that she did not want to attend and instead of politely declining the invitation by saying: NO, THANK YOU. I'LL PASS ON THIS. She had to tell a lie.

The conversation went a bit like this:

Caller: Hi. Trust you're doing.
Friend: Yup I am. You?
Caller: I'm good. So there's this party going to be hosted by my friends and I was thinking we could go together, you know.
Friend: Errr... What date is it??? *let it be a date i'm not free*
Caller: Next week Monday.
Friend: *Smiles. Ope oh* Oh next week? Ah, I should travel over the weekend and should be back Monday or Tuesday. *travel ko, travel ni*
Caller: Oh okay, but you're gonna try to make it abi?
Friend: *Chai. See wahala* Hmmm. Let's see how it goes.
Caller: Thanks. Enjoy the rest of the day.
Friend: You too. I'll get back to you. *If I hear*.


I'm, sure you get the idea.
Have you ever found yourself in such a situation like my friend and you had to say YES so that the "caller" can be happy? I'm sure you have.
Now, I am not the most morally sound person, but I do not like telling lies. In my mind I just wondered why she could not just have said "NO, I cannot make it" instead of giving the other person hope. It then dawned on me that many people do not like saying NO.

Many people like saying YES to everything and anything, which I personally think is not a good thing to do. While it is good to say YES to opportunities to expand yourself and grow on the inside. YES to doing things that make you face your fears. YES to things that push you out of your comfort zone, etc. It is also good to learn how to say NO. And trust me, you have to learn it or you will be pushed around and trampled on.(Mark my words).

Learning to say NO might just be the best thing that happened to you because it allows you to be able to separate the "meaningful-and-important-to-me" from the "meaningful-to-others-but-not-meaningful-and-important-to-me" that people throw towards you.
So we should all learn to say NO but with sense sha. NO to things you do not like. NO to experiences you do not want, etc. Remember, all of this is my own opinion sha.

SAY NO WITH SENSE!


This post first appeared on illumelabs.wordpress.com

Written by: Aiyelari Temilolorun
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